One Year In- A Turning Point

I guess I didn't realize how long it has been since I posted last- well fear not, I'm still in the program. Drill this month marked an important anniversary- Class 56 has now been at this for a whole year. Phase 0 candidates started this month, so we're now the senior class on the ground. We caught glimpses of the train wreck that is Phase 0- very glad to be distanced from that. If anyone from 57 is reading this, y'all got two votes out of 33 when the cadre asked if we felt sorry for you. We've all been there and 12 months down the road from now you'll be glad that the ones with tiny heart syndrome aren't in your class anymore.

I haven't given a typical breakdown of a Phase II weekend yet, so here's what we've been doing:
Friday
-1500-1800 Arrival, baracks setup, gather supplies and weapons
-1800 First formation
-1830-2200 Classroom: Friday night classes are generally suplemental information on topics ranging from basic grammer to UCMJ and radio operation.
-2200-2300 Hygiene, baracks maintenance
-2300 Lights out

Saturday
-0500 Wake up
-0530-0630 PT
-0630-0700 Morning meal
-0700-0745 Hygiene, baracks maintenance
-0800-1200 Classroom: This is the primary class of the weekend. The material is testable and part of the graduation requirements. Classes are taught by various cadre- generally not the black hats. We have a senior instructor that is a Captain that teaches most frequently, other NCO's and officers split up the remaining classes. Classes break every hour for either an admin break for water and latrines or TAC break where we get smoked- just depends on how well the cadre think we're doing that day. If anybody falls asleep (which happens all the time) we're almost guaranteed to get a TAC break.
-1200-1230 Noon meal
-1300-1500 Classroom: continuation of morning death by powerpoint class
-1500-1600 Test: These tests are challenging but not impossible. Honestly, the thing that makes them the hardest is being able to focus on six hours of powerpoint content while you're running on much less sleep than you normally get and physically worn out from getting smoked. The hardest test we took was the Land Nav test in Phase I, by a unanimous vote. Cadre told us it would be the Call for Fire test, but we had a Field Artillery officer teach the class and I found the material to be quite easy to grasp. You need a 70% to pass each test and they're all about 25-30 question multiple choice tests. Doing well requires being able to think like an Army test writer and regurgitating facts that you learned for the first time a few hours earlier.
-1600-1800 Warrior Tasks and Battle Drills: This is where OCS gets a little more fun. These drills are the basic building blocks of how the Army fights. Candidates teach these blocks of instruction that are supervised by our TACs that fill in the holes with their vast experience from the battlefield. We're really benefiting for a decade of war in the sense that our cadre have seen and done all these drills in real life. We are definitely in a unique position to learn from their firsthand accounts on how and why these battle drills are critical to master.
-1800-1840 Evening meal
-1900-2200 Depends on monthly mission
-2300 Lights out

Sunday

-0500 Wake up
-0530-0630 PT
-0630-0700 Morning meal
-0700-0745 Hygiene, baracks maintenance
-0800-1200 Classroom
-1200-1255 Noon meal, religious services

-1300-1500 Warrior Tasks and Battle Drills, inspections
-1500-1700 Wrap up, clean up
-1700 Final formation

Drill this month was different than it ever has been. Starting off, the Company Commander pulled me aside to tell me I had done a good job on some training I put together between drills- it might not seem like much but when it feels like 95% of what the cadre are telling you has something to do with how you suck at life it makes you feel 10 feet tall when they think you did a good job on something (but keep your military bearing and don't let on that you're too excited...).

Secondly, the cadre were amped up like crazy with all the fresh blood that was bumbling around [think Somalians hopped up on cot prior to the battle of Mogadishu], so we wanted as little of their attention as possible. I was a squad leader this drill so I was doing my best to make sure we were squared away to keep as much of a low profile as possible. In the end, I think everybody was happy- the cadre got to release 12 months of pent-up hate on Class 57 and were more hands off with us than they've ever been allowing us to lead more of the weekend. We didn't get smoked once from first formation to final formation- that's a first.

I also got a "go" on my leadership evaluation- a critical part of passing Phase II. I can't tell you how much of a relief that is. It's the first one I've gotten in OCS and my evaluator didn't have a single negative comment to give me in my out-brief. It was a real confidence boost for me to see that the cadre think I'm finally tracking with this course at the level I need to be.

In addition to the leadership evaluation, I was promoted to "intermediate stage."  As I mentioned before, they are promoting individuals as they feel is necessary, not the class as a whole. Honestly, I'm not sure that plan is working out quite like they want it to. As a class, we feel like several of the candidates that have been promoted didn't deserve it so it's created a bit of a stigma for those that have it. Frankly, I don't really feel like I deserve it any more than a good majority of the class that doesn't have it yet. All part of the game, I guess.

Despite (or maybe in spite) of all this, we really have come together as a class- and to a larger extent it feels like a family. This is the biggest hurdle that we've made it over in the last year. It is a surprisingly difficult task that Class 55 didn't accomplish and took us a long time to accomplish. We all say we don't like OCS but what's more accurate is that OCS is a challenging, hostile environment but none of us would want to do it with anyone but the 32 other soldiers that keep coming back for more. Without a doubt, Class 56 will graduate a fine group of officers.

Ending on another high note, ever since Phase 0 a group of us driving back to the same part of Texas stop at Texas Roadhouse for dinner and to laugh about all that happened over the weekend. This time a table offered to buy a round for us- a genuinely kind offer that we would have gladly accepted had we not been in uniform. Then, as we were about to pay, the waitress handed us a folded up napkin that said "Thank you from all of us. USA" and let us know that our dinner was paid for by another table. Unfortunately, they had already left but it was humbling and a blessing to have that support from our fellow Americans.

So for the first time in my two years in the military, I'm starting to be treated more like a human being and in a few short months I'm more confident than ever that I'll have a gold bar on my chest.

Pre-OCS Phase 0 (Weekend 3 of 3)

Lies your recruiter tells you: "One weekend a month, two weeks a year." Hardly. For the last eight weeks I've been working out six days a week at 0500 (okay later on Saturday...), then there's all the time spent coordinating with your home unit for supplies, paperwork, signatures, pay, etc... On top of that add the stress of just anticipating next drill and the challenges ahead of you. And I still need to spend more time studying than I have been, so this isn't a part time job, this is a lifestyle. It's a good thing I'm not doing it for the money because it's not worth the paycheck.

The last drill in Phase 0 is focused on completing your packet, the record APFT, and land nav. Friday night was as usual, we turned in any missing items from our application packet and set up our lockers and bunks to meet our unit standard operating procedures (SOP). It felt good to finally have all the puzzle pieces in my packet- one less thing to worry about. We didn't get smoked as we had the PT test in the morning, so at least we knew we were "safe."

Saturday morning lights came on at 0430 and we took the PT test. I was pretty intimidated going into the test because OCS cadre are much more strict on counting push-ups than anyone else, and it's my worst event (see previous blog entries). I've been working hard and praying hard and the Lord blessed me with the strength to get 47 (counted) push-ups. Nothing to brag about, but it qualifies. I really don't see a strong correlation between troop leadership ability and the ability to push oneself off the ground repeatedly in two minutes. My two mile time was a minute faster than what I'd been running at home and what I got two months ago at the diagnostic PT test- the course I run at home is hilly and a little longer than two miles so that helps. All glory to God for that- he is the one that gives me the strength to make it through the things he has called me to do.

The day continued on the land nav course. We broke into buddy teams and received new coordinates to find that were different than the ones we had last month. All of ours were deep in the woods with no good terrain markers to help us identify where our points were. We had a good plan and were on course to get 4 out of 5 of our points until point 3 wasn't anywhere we thought it would be. We spent too much time looking for it and had to scramble to get out of the woods. Well we made a mistake. Rather than just trudging our way through a few hundred meters of brush to get to the road so we could haul back to the start point, we thought it'd be easier to travel through the clearings in the general direction we needed to go to get back to the start point. Well we got all turned around, had no idea where on the map we were and I started running low on water. I started to get heat cramps and knew I needed to be careful. We finally found the road seven minutes before the time was up, and to our surprise we were just a few hundred meters from the finish point- how that happened, I have no idea. We finished in time but failed to get enough points to receive a "go" for the course. Not a big deal, it's just practice and honestly I learned more by getting disoriented than I did last month when we got all five points. (Side note on gear: the protractor they issue you for plotting points absolutely sucks. Buy this one instead.)

As soon as we got back the TAC sergeants started smoking everybody for some leadership failure. That was rough. The cadre could tell something was wrong with me and sent me to the medic. Turns out it was just heat cramps and they gave me some electrolytes and we ate dinner and I started feeling better.

We did a night land nav course after dinner and we failed that one miserably. As did everyone else I'm pretty sure. I got a go on the night course at Fort Jackson at basic but it was a cake walk compared to the course we had. The biggest problem is trusting your equipment, your pace count, and your training. The darkness freaks a lot of inexperienced people out and you kind of feel like the thick woods are just going to eat you alive. Before we went to bed at 0100 we got smoked again for failure to work like a team. The senior TAC sergeant gave us a lecture on how we needed to spend more time preparing for this during the month and that we needed to look out for each other better. He was right. It just took a little sweat and blood and palms full of splinters to see his point. Long day.

Sunday the cadre had their PT test so we woke up at 0530 to clean the barracks.  Since Saturday was such a long hard day we didn't have a ton to do Sunday besides cleaning. We worked on D&C, did a few administrative things to make sure our travel pay was working, got smoked every once and a while and got briefed on Phase I.

It feels good to be done with Phase 0. It's a mental victory. We're officially Texas OCS Class 56 now and while it may get harder in Phase I and it's till a long haul to the end of Phase III, we're in. 250 applicants wanted a spot in the class this year. It's an honor and a privilege to be among the 40-something that will be given a chance and I don't take that lightly.

A few of the candidates from the area near where I live all met up for dinner at Texas Roadhouse before continuing home. I really like the guys and I'm glad to be going through the course with them. I can't explain what it feels like to eat dinner with a bunch of men that would lay down their lives for you and their country. It's humbling and I feel like even though I've only spent a few months with them they know what makes me tick- because they're the same way.

Not sure what the course Kansas is going to be like. I've heard everything from "it's a cake walk compared to Phase 0 and you get to ride in a Blackhawk helicopter to the land nav course" to "it was the hardest two weeks of my life." The internet is surprisingly quiet on the topic- its sad when you Google "OCS Phase I" and your own blog is one of the top results. I guess I'm going blind on this one. Sorry for the long post, if you're reading this to help you better understand what the course will be like hopefully you find this helpful.

Pre-OCS Phase 0 (Weekend 2 of 3)

This weekend was definitely different than the last drill. I hesitate to say it was easier or harder than last month, it was just different. As a class we were more prepared and the leadership seemed more put together. Also all of our TAC Sergeants were out, so we just had the regular cadre sergeants who don't feel the need to yell and scream as much. Out of the original 83 candidates we had 58 return for another round. About six of those were new- they didn't attend the first Phase 0, which is technically allowed but highly frowned upon. My squad leader from last drill didn't come back, so since I was Alpha team leader I got bumped to the squad leader position. Friday night was spent continuing to take care of paperwork deficiencies. Getting all the documents together for Phase I is a small miracle thanks to the efficiency of government employees. We got smoked once or twice Friday night but it wasn't bad. We were in bed by 2230.

Saturday we had a 5 mile ruck march with our kevlar helmet, LCE, and a 35-40 lb. ruck, plus water. All in all I probably had about 60 lbs. of gear. The standard to pass is 1 hour 45 minutes. It was still cool when we stepped off at 0600 in the dark. I settled into a 16 minute mile pace, which is the pace I had done a few training marches at- reasoning that coming in 25 minutes before the standard time is a pretty good time. The instructors, however, wanted to see times closer to 1:10:00, so I was a little too slow for their liking, but now that I know the times they're really looking for I'll adjust fire. We were told we couldn't bring commercial combat boots to Phase I in Kansas [later that was taken back, commercial boots may be worn as long as they meet the regs], so I used my standard issue boots, and they tore my feet up. Thank you lowest bidder for your excellent work. Looks like I'll need to be wearing them more often to keep from blistering up in Kansas.

The rest of Saturday was spent in the classroom doing a land nav test that they let us take with a battle buddy and reviewing the basics of how to apply the classroom portion to the practical course. Around 2000 we were in a mass formation and the cadre passed the word on to the student 1st sergeant to release us to our barracks for the night- most of us were in shock, the sun wasn't even totally down yet. So naturally we were excited to get a little free time. Right as they were giving us the orders the cadre stopped us and said we needed to stretch out first. No problem. I needed some good stretching time after the march that morning anyway. Well from there it took a nose dive- after the first two stretches, two of the officer cadre just started smoking us for the fun of it. Talking to a sergeant about this later, NCO's go through training on when to tell how much is too much. No doubt smoke sessions are meant to toughen up soldiers, but contrary to popular belief they aren't designed to injure or break people. Officers go through no such training. So for an hour and a half we got smoked. Some of the females were crying and one candidate stood up and quit the program. A minute after he did that we stopped and continued stretching. I about puked from how hard they worked us, but thankfully I didn't- that's not the kind of attention you want.

Sunday was the land nav course. The course is designed to be extremely difficult so that candidates excel on the actual course in Kansas for Phase I, which our cadre told us is a joke compared to our course. Driving up to the course I could tell the woods were so dense you could barely see the sun coming up through the trees. Dense underbrush would be an understatement. We needed to find 3 out of the 5 markers that we had grid coordinates for- which the cadre promised would not be an easy task. There were no beaten paths and this course regularly fails seasoned infantry sergeants. We had three hours to complete the course and somehow my team of three hobbled around on our hamburgered feet and got all 5. We were one of the only (if not the only) groups to do so.

Candidates interested in going to the accelerated OCS course had to write a letter explaining why they needed to go. As of leaving Sunday evening, I didn't hear of anyone getting approval to go. Most people were told no, and a few hadn't received an answer yet.

Sunday afternoon we spent cleaning the barracks and standing on the concrete in the hot sun until we had been there long enough to satisfy the training requirement. We got released at 1600 which is about an hour earlier than when the scheduled time was- no one complained. Another month down and only one month left in 0 Phase.

Pre-OCS Phase 0 (Weekend 1 of 3)

There is a sign on the entrance to Ranger school at Fort Benning that reads: "Not for the weak or faint-hearted." Well that about sums up the first weekend of Pre-OCS for Class 56. The course ran Friday night through Sunday night in a high stress atmosphere. Meaning, a lot of attention from the TAC Officers/NCO's and a lot of yelling and smoke sessions. TACs have replaced drill sergeants and are the cadre for the OCS course. Whenever speaking we had to address them with, "Sir/Sergeant, Officer Candidate [last name] (insert question comment, etc...)" They wear black patrol caps to distinguish themselves from us- as if they needed any help. All of our TACs are solid instructors. They're tough but they're also clearly there to teach you and help you learn- granted that doesn't mean they'll teach you nicely, but the knowledge you need eventually gets to you.

We did a diagnostic APFT test the first thing Saturday morning- and as expected the standards were strict.  The difference between a diagnostic and a record APFT is that the diagnostic doesn't go on your record. If people failed by more than 10% in any event they were sent home at the end of the weekend (scoring lower than a 50 in any event). For the Phase 0 record APFT in May the minimum passing score is 60 but to be competitive you need scores in the 70-80 range for each event. Starting phase 1 is all based on an OML. Think of Phase 0 as tryouts. Contrary to what my recruiter made it sound like, when you enlist as a 09S or officer candidate, your contract will get you into Phase 0 if you meet all the requirements. You aren't at any point guaranteed a commission. The odds of commissioning are actually very low. The class a year ahead of us (Class 55) had about 90 people in the start of Phase 0 and as of this weekend they're down to 15 in Phase 2 with five months to go. 09S candidates are looked down upon by the TACs as we have no experience whatsoever leading troops. No deployments, nothing. So we definitely have to prove ourselves. 17 candidates were sent home and requested not to come back. More will self-withdraw by next month. Class 56 started out with 83 candidates and slowly but surely that number is shrinking.

When we weren't getting smoked, we were in the classroom taking refresher courses on land nav[igation]. Next month we'll take a written exam and do a field exercise on a night and day land nav course. They generally didn't let us stay in the classroom for more than 45 minutes at a time without finding some reason to get us outside for a little exercise. We went to bed between 2200 and were up by 0500 both days, and we had fireguard shifts for an hour at some point during the night. The facilities including the bays were top notch. I was expecting run down- typical military condition buildings, but everything was new and in really nice shape. Texas has gotten awards for their OCS program and consistently ranks in the very top programs in all the states.

It's all a game. The TACs know its a game. And if I play their game for the next 17 months as hard as I can I'll have my butter bar.